The Eighth Saiyan
by Maximus Nerdulous
Summary: This story takes place at around the time of Dragonball GT but I wanted it to be Dragonball Z. Basically an eighth Saiyan survives the blast of planet Vegeta. He wants to be the most powerful being in the universe. Like all the other bad guys. Enjoy!
1. Prologue

**The Eighth Saiyan**

Hi! This is my first Fanfiction story. I wouldn't mind some reveiws, and heavy on the Ketchup, please!

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It's all a blur. The explosion, the screams...

I am the sole survivor. The only saiyan left, but I can't even remember my name. But I remember his name. He killed them all.

Freiza.

He destroyed planet Vegeta. I saw it with my own eyes.

Bardock. Poor Bardock. He was a true hero. I tried to help him, but he ran off before... I... I tried to catch up with him but before I got near him, I saw it. That big ball that destroyed my friends, family, my home planet, everything. I just barely escaped with that escape pod...

Freiza. The coward! For years he made us do his dirtywork, destroying planets so that he wouldn't have anything to fear. So that he could be the strongest in the universe. Coward! How did we not see it coming?

I will recreate the saiyan race. The race that he was so afraid would conquer him. Together we will defeat Freiza, and become the strongest beings in the universe. We will _rule_ the universe! I will rule the universe.

But first, I need the power. Where will I get enough power to defeat Freiza, the most powerful being in the universe...

Woah, something's coming back to me. That's right! My mission! I was supposed to destroy this planet called, Nomek, I think. Yeah, that's it. For Freiza. Not any more.

But there was something else. Something I wanted to do for just me and my team. My team. Freiza killed them too. Ah, gotta stop thinking about him. But what was it? Oh! Right! Dragonballs! That's what they were.

These things do something.. Oh! Grant wishes! If I collect all seven, I get 3 wishes! But why collect them when I could absorb them! Maybe then, I could become a Super Saiyan! That's Freiza's worst fear!

But who grants the wishes? I can't remember. Something else that I should probably absorb. A... Dragon! Of course! An eternal Dragon, grants wishes for Dragonballs! And, if I absorb an Eternal Dragon, I automatically become Immortal!

Right. Okay, so this planet is called, Nomek.

"Computer! Set coordinates to Nomek!"

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I'll work on another chapter! And remember! Be kind to one another!


	2. Chapter 1: History of Nomek

Hi again! I made another chapter for the story. As you can see. Hope to hope you like it!

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Once, after the legendary storm on Namek, a Namekian called Rami, (twin of Kami, creator of the Dragonballs on earth) wanted to rebuild Namek so much, he decided to make another Namek with the Dragonballs.

The namekian collected the Dragonballs to wish for his planet.

Rami used his first wish to make the planet far away from the true Namek, because for some reason he didn't want the other namekians to find out about it.

He then wished for it to be as beautiful as Namek was before the storm.

He used his final wish to take himself to the planet.

When he got to the planet, he sculpted the Dragon and the Dragonballs.

He then named the planet Nomek, and called it the brother of Namek.

That is how the planet was created, and it was a peaceful planet until it was found by the monstrous creature called Freiza, who sent a team of saiyans to destroy it.

And that is where our story begins.

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I'll think about the next chapter! But until then, take care, good bye! Go home.


	3. Chapter 2: Arrival on Nomek

Hey again! I love writing these storys. So I updated this one! Happy days! Read on, my freinds.

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As the Saiyan escape pod crashed onto the surface of planet Nomek, the citizens trembled with fear, for they felt a great force in this ship.

The Saiyan emerged from the pod, and a large gathering rose around him. "Do not fear, I come in peace," said the saiyan,"All I ask for is the Dragonballs."

"What do you intend to do with them?" asked a nomekian.

"To save the universe from the evil hands of a monster called, Freiza." The saiyan said.

"What is your name, and what kind of creature are you?" another nomekian asked.

"My name is... is... I can't remember." the saiyan said, as he fell to his knees.

A number of nomeks ran to his aid, and took him to Rami, the creator of the planet.

"Where, where am I?" said the saiyan, rising quickly from his bed.

"Relax, you are safe on Nomek, Kiiar." said the nomek sitting beside him, " My name is Rami, I created this planet."

"What did you, wait that name sounds familiar..." said the saiyan,"It's my name! I remember now!"

"Yes," said Rami, smiling,"I entered your mind and found quite a few of your lost memories. You've been floating in space for quite a few years now. I do hope you don't mind that I did so."

"No, not at all, said Kiiar,"I was looking for those."

"Yes, well, the reason you came to this planet was to achieve enough power to defeat this, Freiza, I hear?" Rami said.

"You heard right!" said Kiiar,"And If you could just hand over the Dragonballs, I'll leave you in peace."

"Ah, you see, that is what I cannot do." said Rami.

"What?"

"I cannot let you have the Dragonballs, as they are a part of this planet, and also property of all the nomeks that live here." Rami said.

"I'm sorry, but that can't happen," said Kiiar,"I need the power, right now."

"Well, no. I'm afraid you will have to find your power somewhere else." Rami said.

"NO! I NEED MY POWER NOW!" screamed Kiiar.

The nomekians working in the field jumped when they heard the saiyan crash through the roof of Rami's safe-haven, and fly off.

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Hope you like! I'll work on another chapter! But for now, bye bye!


	4. Chapter 3: The search begins

Hello, readers peoples. This is my 4th chapter and I'm pretty excited to make more. But for now you'll have to read the chapters that I've already written! Like this one!

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"Now, how do you find a Dragonball?" the angry saiyan Kiiar said to himself,"Maybe this thing will help."

Kiiar pressed a button on a machine he couldn't recognize that was attached to his ear.

"What do these strange signs mean?" he asked himself.

Then he remembered.

"My Scouter!" he cried.

"Alright, now I think this button is to find readings...right, got it. This one is to, yup. Transmitter." Kiiar skillfully pressed the buttons on his scouter, searching through the settings it had.

"Alright, let's see if we can get a reading. Over there, yup. Search, items, yes. Okay, let's see..." he said.

Kiiar looked around for a reading. Suddenly, the scouter beeped and pointed to something that he could not see. He flew in that direction, and found a large, orange ball.

"So this is what a Dragonball looks like, eh?" he laughed, "I thought they were supposed to be high and mighty, or whatever. Alright, let's get to it. Absorb, now!"

He felt like his chest was opened, the Dragonball disappeared and his chest was closed back up again.

"Whew, never gonna get used to that feeling. Wow, I'm not hungry either!" he said.

"NNOOOO!" said a voice behind him. It was Rami, creator of the planet.

"You must stop!" he said, "The Eternal Dragon will awaken permanently if you absorb or collect all 7 of them! He will be extremely angry and will slaughter you!"

"Slaughter me!?" Kiiar laughed, "Oh no, what shall I ever do? You think I didn't know that? I'm going to absorb the Dragon, too!"

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rami fell to his knees, "But then the Dragonballs will no longer exist on this planet, and then we nomeks cannot wish for anything!"

"Oh well. Not my problem." said Kiiar. He rose a few feet into the air and started to turn around, but suddenly, a huge Ki blast wave hit him from behind.

"Ugh! What was... How dare you!" said Kiiar.

"If you want the Dragonballs, then you'll have to go through me." Rami said, and floated up to Kiiar's height.

Kiiar laughed as Rami went into fighting position. "Do you even know what you're doing? My power level is 70,000 at best, and yours is around," he pressed the buttons on his scouter, "Ha ha ha haaa! 5,000! Oooh, I'm so scared! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" he laughed.

Rami stared defiantly at Kiiar as if saying his scouter was broken.

"Alright, be that way. I'll make the first move." Kiiar said, lunging at the nomekian.

They were moving so fast... Rami was blocking all of Kiiar's wild attacks... Kiiar started slowing down after a while, and Rami took full advantage of the saiyan's weakness.

He landed a huge punch to Kiiar's stomach, and while he crouched over in pain, Rami flew above him and dropped a huge kick to the head, but Kiiar was fast.

He dodged and grabbed Rami's other foot, and ripped the entire leg off! Rami screamed in pain. He fell to the ground, clutching the wound.

He's stronger than the reading I got of him earlier, and he didn't even power up! Kiiar thought, Better get another reading to make sure I know what I'm dealing with. What...

Im-possible, his power level is at, 25,000! His power more than _doubled_! He must be able to hide his power level from my scouter! Crafty old fool!"

Will Rami defeat Kiiar? Will Kiiar defeat Rami? Find out next time on, The Eighth saiyan!

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Hope you like! I'll make another chapter, but don't pressure me. See ya! And remember, review!


	5. Chapter 4: Battle with Rami

Howdy! I'm sorry that I haven't updated, I was pretty busy. And I kept on getting new games for my Wii, so I was occupied. But now I'm better! So here's the next chapter! Oh, and by the way, from now on the chapters will be a lot better than they were. Continue!

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Kiiar glared at the old nomekian who was causing him so much trouble. The saiyan had been sent on a simple mission, which he had changed for selfish matters.

"What's wrong green man? Saiyan got your tongue? Maybe _leg_ is more appropriate. Hahahahahahahahahah!" Kiiar laughed cruelly.

The green man, Rami, was leaning on a tree holding the place were his leg used to be.

Suddenly, another leg sprouted out!

"What? How did you do that?" Kiiar yelled and rushed at the old alien.

He reached for the new leg to see if it was fake. But oh, it was real all right. It swung up and landed a nice hit to the saiyan's chin. He was caught off guard and knocked flying.

Rami regrouped and caught up with his foe. He hit all the bony parts and pressure points and gave the siayan a strong gut-punch every now and then.

Rami ended the rain of blows by knocking Kiiar backwards. The saiyan flopped like a rag doll and landed hard on a large rock.

He lay still for a few seconds, but then got up, cracked his neck, smiled and said, "Not bad. You must be the best old-person-fighter in the universe. Except for my Grandmother! HAHAHA! But seriously, she used to pin me all the time."

Rami's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe how tough the saiyan and his grandmother were.

"I believe it's my turn now." The saiyan said. Kiiar rushed at Rami. Rami stood still, waiting for the pain, but the saiyan disappeared.

"High speed movement." Rami muttered.

"That's right!" said a voice on a cliff behind him. He spun around and shot a ki wave at the voice, supposedly Kiiar. He caught a single glimpse of the figure, but it disappeared again.

"Missed!" Kiiar taunted, this time on top of a rock to Rami's left. Rami let it go, knowing he would miss.

"Come on! Don't you want to play?" Kiiar said, reappearing by a tree. He leaned on it casually. "You're a bit of a- he plucked a strange plant from a nearby garden and took a bite- spoil sport." Pieces flew from his mouth as he spoke.

He tossed the fruit to Rami, who let it hit his head and fall to the ground. He stood still.

Kiiar doubled over and laughed his head off. Rami took advantage of Kiiar's mistake and shot a ki blast at him. It blocked his view and he waited until the dust and dirt cleared. He had knocked the tree down and made a rut in the ground, but Kiiar was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, he saw a light form above him. He looked up and froze.

The saiyan was above him, forming a ki blast of his own, but about 10 times larger than his could ever be.

"Silly old fool."

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The nomeks at Rami's safe-haven were wondering who this stranger was and why he was such an inconsiderate gerk. They had started to fix the roof, when all of a sudden, the sky went dark. They looked out the widows and gasped.

There was a bright red orb that was growing far from them, but still visible. It grew until it was about a sixth the size of the planet, but then shrunk out of sight.

The sky turned bright green again, but the horrible image remained in their mind.

"Wasn't that where Rami and that strange man flew off to?" they started asking each other. Everybody returned to their work, still shaking with fear.

--

The last Rami saw before everything went black, was the saiyan floating away, chuckling to himself.

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Hope you like! I'll get busy on another chapter. And for those who like to point out mistakes, I know I kept on calling the story The _seventh _saiyan in my past chapters, but those were mistakes. I forgot that there was 7 saiyans who survived in the original series, and that this was the eighth. So :( to you. Later!


	6. Chapter 5

Hey gang! I've seen all of the episodes, so I'm ready to update! So, I bet you're wondering what's happening on Earth right about now, aren't you? READ ON!!

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"Hey guys!" Krillin yelled as he entered the Son's house with 18 and Marron.

"Hey guys! Come on in, make yourselves at home!" the sound of Chi Chi's voice echoed down the hall from the kitchen, "If you're looking for everyone else, they're outside in the backyard!"

18 and Marron sat down on the couch and flicked on the TV.

"Don't spend the entire time in there, Chi Chi!" Krillin said down the hallway.

He stepped out the back door and looked out over the huge backyard.

A chorus of voices called out greetings to Krillin and before he knew it, he was being swallowed up in what seemed to be a hug from Earth's entire population. But it was just Buu, and that big body of rubber-like skin.

"Hi Buu!" he said.

When he finally escaped the mass of flub, he walked over towards the others.

Goten, Pan and Trunks were sparring, while Gohan, Videl, Supreme Kai, Old Kai, Bulma, Bra, Yamcha, Puar, Oolong, Master Roshi, Turtle, Tien, Chiaoutzu, Mr. Briefs, Mrs. Briefs, Dende, Mr. Popo and Hercule were sitting in lawn chairs catching up. Vegeta was off sulking behind a tree and Buu had returned to chasing a butterfly.

"18! Marron! Come on out here! When Chi Chi said everyone, she meant everyone!" Krillin yelled in the house. Marron ran down the steps and over to the others, and 18 took her time like she didn't really care if she saw the others.

"If you _ever_, interrupt me from watching TV again, I'll blast that little head of yours right off your shoulders." 18 threatened him silently.

"Sure." Krillin had gotten used to her threats. She gave him at least one every day. The twosome walked over to the group of people.

"So he says to me- Oh! Hey guys! Come to join the party, huh? Gohan! Go grab a few chairs for these guys!" Yamcha said mid joke.

"Thats okay, I know where they are. I'll go get them." Krillin said and ran back towards the house. He had been waiting for an excuse to go back into the house. He wanted to have a word with Chi Chi.

"Uh, Chi Chi?" He said as he entered the kitchen, "You said Goku would be here, right?"

She was sittitng on a chair reading a magazine.

"Yeah, don't worry about it Krillin! You know Goku! He's _always_ late. Go hang out with the others, I'll be out with the food in a second."

"Are you sure you know the way there, Goku?" Uub asked, getting impatient with his mentor.

"Pshhh! It's my house! You don't think I know where it is? Of course I know where it is." Goku said, looking at the map. "Now, let's see. Take a right at... no, thats not right. Left? No thats..."

Uub gave him a look that said _Really?._

"Fooey with you." Goku gave him a dismissing gesture and went back to his map.

"Okay guys, lets eat!" Chi Chi said as everyone had sat down at the 4 large picic tables set out for the feast. Suddenly, two figures could be seen flying towards them in the distance.

"Look it's Goku and Uub!" Mr. Popo shouted. Everyone waved at them.

"Is that them down there?" Uub asked.

"Yes! See, I told you I knew the way!" Goku said. He burst ahead and Uub followed quickly.

They landed with a **THUD** in front of the others. Uub tripped and almost landed in Mr. Popo's food, but was stopped by Dende. Everyone laughed and Uub went as red as Mars itself.

"So?" Goku said, "Wheres my plate?"

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And there you have it. Until next time!


	7. Chapter 6

I'm back! By the way, from now on, the chapters will alternate between places/characters. One chapter is on Earth, the next is with Kiiar, and so forth. READ ON!

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"Alright, second ball. Where could it be?" Kiiar mumbled. Suddenly his scouter beeped and he found two signals.

"Two Dragonballs! This must be my lucky day. THANK YOU SANTA!!" he screamed to the heavens.

The saiyan veered to the right, towards the closest ball. It was perched on a large hill, almost keeping watch over the valley in it's sight.

"Absorbing time!" Kiiar said happily and felt that strange sensation again.

"Great, Now wheres that other ball?" He looked out over the valley now in his sight. The arrow on his scouter was pointing at something he couldn't see. He flew over in the arrow's direction. He walked forwards, not looking at the ground.

"Curses! Where is that ba- woah!" His foot fell into a hole.

"Ow! My toe! Wait a minute..." He pulled his foot out and reached down into the hole, feeling around. He felt dirt and rock, and something smooth and round...

"Hey, its the ball!" He stretched his other arm down the hole and pulled out the third ball. He absorbed the ball and sat down on a nearby rock.

"Whew! I'm tired. And I stink, too. Wheres a bathtub when you need one?" He looked around for an uninhabited house. His long black hair was matted with sweat, and it was blocking his view. "Absorption is tiring work. Oh, a stream. Guess that'll do."

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The Nomekian had been sent as a scout to see if everything was okay, and he'd already found Rami's battered body, barely alive. The others told him not to go on, but he wanted to help as much as possible.

He sensed something dangerous as he slowly made his way around to the side of the big rock that was his only way of disguise. He was shocked to see what the newcomer was doing.

He was removing his clothes and jumping into the great river, which just happened to be the entire planet's water supply. He felt like taking his clothes and burning them. But he knew better. Besides. Now that he was occupied, they could collect the rest of the Dragonballs and hide them.

He rushed back to tell the others of the chance they had.

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Kiiar's in trouble! What happens next? Find out in the chapter after the next one!


	8. Chapter 7

Salutations, fellow DBZ nerds! Me gots more chapter for y'all! Merry Christmahanakwanzakah!

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"Hey! Vegeta!" Goku called across the yard to his former enemy.

"Kakarot." He said back. "Do not disturb me. I am eating."

Both Vegeta and Majin Buu had a feast of their own, and were sitting off under trees away from the table. Everyone else could control how much they ate, were told how much they could eat, or wanted to sit with their friends.

"Kay. I'll just stay over here with the others." Goku mumbled with his head hung.

"Kakarot?"

"Yeah Vegeta?"

"Good to see you."

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"So guys? How's the training going? Krillin asked.

"Oh, great," Goku said, "Uub's learning more and more every day. I've been trying to teach him the Kamehameha wave, but he's having trouble with it. He'll get it, though. Gohan had the same problems. Remember that, son?"

"Wemembu whup, Daa?" Gohan said with a mouth full of food.

Everyone except Goten and Trunks stifled a laugh, while Chi-Chi and Videl scowled a _very_ dirty scowl at him.

Goku continued on as if it were a normal conversation,"You know, the days in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, before the Ce- oops!"

Gohan hated Cell with a passion, and nobody talked about it when he was around. That time in his life had become a nightmare for him. The last time that someone had mentioned Cell around him, he almost broke down in tears. But that was a few years ago, and he was more mature now. He only flinched and looked away for a second.

"Yeah. Couldn't use it 'til the last 3 weeks." He said.

There was a long silence, to remember how close they came to letting Earth, and the entire Universe fall into the hands of Cell. But it was completely shattered when The Supreme Kai burst out into laughter.

"Whoah! Supreme Kai! What's so funny?" Bulma asked.

"You're not- HA HA HA HAAA! This is- HA HA HAHA! AH HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA! Whew. Okay, today, when *giggle* I was getting ready for the *giggle* party-HA HA HA!!!"

"What? What happened?" Goku said, frustrated.

_Calm down Kai. When they find out, they'll feel the same! _He thought to himself, "I was going through my sock drawer to get my party socks, when... I found... (_DON'T LOSE IT!!!)_I FOUND ANOTHER PAIR OF POTARA EARINGS THAT WE COULD HAVE USED TO DEFEAT MAJIN BUU!!! HHHHAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Majin Buu looked up like a Meerkat, and they all stared at The Supreme Kai while he fell off of the bench in a laughing fit. Wasn't he supposed to be the one who watched over everyone in the universe? You'd have to be mature for that.

"WHAAAT?!?!" Goku and Vegeta jumped up onto the table and shrieked simultaneously, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY LIVES, AND NOT TO MENTION ONE BEAUTIFUL PLANET YOU COULD HAVE SAVED WITH THOSE?!?! Woah, that was weird."

"Hey come on guys! It all got wished back, right?" he said, whispering his prayers in his head. But a sigh of relief came from his mouth when he heard:

"Ehh. Fair enough."

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Ah, same old heroes, same old predicaments. Farewell!


	9. Chapter 8

Yo dudely-dude-dudes! J'ai un autre chapitre pour vouz! You're welcome.

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"Ahh, this, is the life." Kiiar said. He was bathing in style. He had thought that the river was too cold, so he put his hand in, and started heating up the water with a large Ki ball.

He was also throwing the occasional fish into a fire he had set up behind him. They would swim into the ball, get zapped, and then float to him. He had caught almost a dozen fish for his dinner, while relaxing.

"Whew, doggy! Tonight's gonna be quite the fish fest now, ain't it!" He said to a fish as he pulled it up out of the water.

"Well, that should just about do it, I think. After all, floating around in space for a few 40 years can sure give you some bad B.O.," Kiiar said as he jumped out of the water, _I think I was about, 16 when Vegeta was destroyed. At least that Rami guy helped me with something. I couldn't live without those memories. I must be like, 50 now. Maybe even in my older! The only thing I don't know, is how I stayed alive for that long, just drifting in space. Or how my computer kept working. Or how I never ran out of fuel. Just the pod being on uses fuel._

"Man, being stranded out here, all alone on some weird planet far from where I used to live, gives me a lot of time to think about stuff," he said, "Now, let's get these fish going!"

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"Yes, he was bathing in The Great River, I saw him." the Nomekian said.

"Well, who's gonna go get him?" someone in the crowd yelled. Then there was a loud roar of people fighting over who would go and defeat the powerful newcomer.

"Why don't we just wait until Rami gets better?" some said. "You go. I've never fought anyone in my life! I don't know how to defend myself!" others argued.

"STOOOOOP!" the first Nomekian said, "Unless some one wants to volunteer, we will wait until Rami recovers to fetch the stranger."

"WAIT!" a Nomekian came running out of her hut, "The Dragonball that we keep here in the village! Look at it!"

There were gasps and screams of fear. The Dragonball was losing some of it's orange glow, and had shrunk a great deal from what size it had been before the stranger came.

"He has absorbed some of the balls!" "We have to kill him!" "No! If we do that, we'll lose the Drgonballs he absorbed too!" The nomekians ran to their homes, wishing for a miracle.

"Please get better soon, Rami." the first Nomekian whispered.

"What is all this commotion, Kita?" a guard to Rami's safe-haven said.

"Nothing, Bain. The villagers are afraid of what the stranger could do to us," Kita responded, "How is he doing?"

"No to bad. He really got a beating; some broken bones, some torn flesh, but he'll be better in no time at all," Bain said, "You know, there's nobody around, so the safe-haven isn't in any danger..."

"Yeah, and?"

"Why don't we get a few other guys, and head out to try and beat this guy!" Bain asked.

"We can't! What if he's coming to the village now, and we leave in another direction! There won't be any protection for the village if he attacks!" Kita protested.

"That's why we try to sense him, but keep the village in sight."

"But- hey, that might just work," he said, "Still..."

"Don't worry about it. Chances are, he's sleeping. Thinking that there's nothing that could stop him... Then, BAM! (Kita flinched at that) We blast him." Bain said.

"Alright. Who did you have in mind to help?" Kita asked."

"That's the fun part." Bain said as he walked Kita to the first hut.

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"Aaaahh. That was a good dinner," Kiiar said, as he tossed the few hundred fish skeletons into The Great River, "And here's a little something to scare the next green freak who comes to have a drink."

He turned and put out the fire out, so that no one could find him,so that he didn't have to worry about any other distractions.

He had pulled down a good many leaves from the tree beside him, to make a small bed. _Strange. The sky doesn't get dark here, yet it definitely feels like nighttime._ He thought, as he lay down on the bed.

_Oh well. It's quiet anyways. I'm starting to like it here. _He closed his eyes, thinking of getting all of the power in the universe. He could be the _ruler_ of the Universe... He could defeat Frieza... Maybe even get a girlfriend... And it all started here... here...

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NO! DON'T DO IT, KIIAR! YOU COULD BE AMBUSHED! OR SOMETHING! What happens next? Well, I don't really know. Could you tell me? (SARCASM IS AWESOME!!!)


	10. Chapter 9

Salutions, amigos! If you want action.. drama... pie... then you're in the right place! Except for the pie part. And, maybe a little bit of action and drama is missing. But I still have everything else! All that you must do is... READ!!

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"Aaaaah. That was a good dinner." Goku said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Yeah! Great cooking, Chi-Chi!" Krillin said.

"Yeah," said Chi-Chi, holding her head higher, "It was pretty good, wasn't it?"

"For sure, Mom." Goten said, his voice muffled by all of the food that was crammed into his mouth.

"Hey, did anyone invite King Kai?" Goku asked.

"No, but I'm here now!" a voice by the end of the table said.

"KING KAI!!!!" screamed Goku. He jumped from his seat and tackled the Kai in a bear hug that felt like an elephant hug.

"GOKU! YOU'RE CRUSHING MY HALO! GET OFF!!!!!!" King Kai screamed.

"Oh, sorry. Forgot you're a weakling." Goku said.

"Kmphrs!" Vegeta almost spat out his lunch while holding back a laugh, but Goku was as calm and serious as always.

"Oh thank you, Goku," said King Kai, "That's always nice to hear."

"Hey King Kai!" Krillin called out from behind the massive Ox King.

"Yo! Double K! Wazzaaaaaap!" Yamcha hopped up from his seat and bumped chests with the King. He was wearing a huge hoodie with his pants at his knees, a belt holding them in place.

"His fourty-eth made him feel old, so now he's trying to, "fit in with the teens" and look all gangster." Bulma said from further down the table.

"How's it workin', home slice? M'my tight, dawg?" he asked crossing his arms, leaning back and pursing his lips off to the right.

"Eeeeeeeeeh, I think 'loose' is a better way to put it." said King Kai.

"Wutchew somkin', crack-head!? I look tighta dan a moo-cow in a girdle! Or even y'all in a girdle! YES, I went theya." Yamcha argued, standing tall and quite close to the Kai in a proud way.

"Don'chew git me started, foo! I wiw hurt chew! You tink just because I'm fat, dat I can't strangle some stupit little white kid? YES, _I _went theya." the chubby little blue-skinned man said in a particularly offensive fashion.

While this was being said, Yamcha was backing up and getting smaller every second. Buu was watching with excitement saying, "Buu want catfight! Buu want catfight!" and, "Ooooh, big burn! Big burn!" and even, "Amen, barotha!". And slowly, as King Kai stared at Yamcha with one eye open and the other closed tightly, a wet spot was emerging in the groin area of Yamcha's boxers.

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Man, that King Kai is baaaaaaad. Stay tuned, don't change that channel! We'll be right back after these messages from our sponsors!


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